While the seconds hand on the clock seemingly played hide-n-seek behind the bloodied fingerprints, the clarity that had taken over at the beginning began to fade into the mist that was descending. It was a slow confused stupidity. The tentacles of the fog clouding every lucid thought in his head. Seconds slipped by, slowly turning into minutes and when he could no longer see the clock in his hand he realized that the darkness was coming to claim him. A burden, mighty as a mountain, slipped from his shoulders and he felt the onset of an ocean of peace. It was like he stood at the edge of a precipice, black storm clouds looming ominously overhead while the icy black sea eons away whipped itself into a frenzy. Ever so slowly he tipped forward, and head over heels plummeted into the darkness below. Only it was upsidedowninsideout. He felt a hand reach out and he took it gladly. In that instant realized he was being lifted upward.
The day started innocuously, like most others with college, cutting classes, afternoon makeout sessions and was going pretty well, until the moment it dawned on him that today was THE day. From that instant every thing slowed down. It was as if everything else was marching to a half time beat whereas he was the lone piper marching to reality's tune. After kissing his girlfriend goodbye went home pretending everything was normal. His only concession being on the way he stopped at a wineshop to get himself something to fortify himself. The rest of the evening slipped by with a couple of games of table tennis and scrabble.
It was only after everyone retired for the night that he put his morbid plan into action. An entire bag was filled with all the memorabilia of three years and a letter glued on top with the word "Hers" and another letter for mom and dad. Following which he locked himself into the bathroom with a liter bottle of Bacardi Limon, some Thumbs up, a red clock and a packet of 7 o'clock shaving razors.
After half the contents of the bottle were consumed, in a rather hurried manner (the gentle numbing was all that was required.) and the clock read 10:36 he realized that he had about 7 hours give or take a few to keep the appointment he had made with death. This here is an account of what transpired herein, and the life time that was lived and lost in those precious hours.
It began with a small measured gash, almost like testing the waters. Followed by three progressively deeper vicious slashes to the left wrist. The blood flowing copiously from all three wounds seemed to surprise him, the first real sign that it was actually happening and not just some ugly aberration of his mind. He toyed with it between his finger with a childlike curiosity. Sticky coagulating blood. It was his first whiff of the scent that would haunt him for a long time. Coming eventually to symbolize to him the entire episode and the ensuing chaos.
After a significant amount of sand had passed through the veritable hourglass, and an equally significant portion of the firewater was ingested was when things first started to get blurry. Somewhere out of this haze came the decision to start work on the other wrist. A short trial round then the real deal and to his fascinated horror, accompanying the torrent of life force was something yellow and slimy playing peek-a-boo from the depths of the gash.
Great leaps of time started disappearing around then and after a while the haze lifted temporarily to reveal him lying in the bath tub, which was filling with the blood pumping out of his wrists with every weakening heartbeat. He had somehow managed to paint the walls and the mirror with ghastly bloodied designs and wordings.
It was soon after that that he let the foreboding figure lift him up into the darkness. In that instant he realized a freeing of shackles that he never realized existed. What freedom in deed!!! A sort that he never in his wildest dreams could have envisioned. That's when he opened his figurative eyes and saw his former shell, his limp lifeless body lying covered in blood in the bath tub below. While he floated above, unencumbered by form, shape or size. The draw of the darkness was getting stronger by the minute, the black figure in the corner emanating an aura of fear, acceptance and comfort all in one.
Before he could make a move towards the black figure he felt a pulsating, powerful presence behind him. The black figure turned and ran, trailing his darkness behind him and simultaneously the room began to fill with a strange pulsating white light that seemed to possess a lifesource of its own. This luminance emanated from the eyes of the presence beside him, and seemed to envelope him in a cocoon of warmth. He felt himself drawn in to his body and realized that the freedom that was vanishing the more he was linked to his body was not ordained for him just yet.
The light pressed against the bodily wounds, stemming the flow of blood. It then wrapped itself around him and carried him down that stairs and placed him outside his fathers room.
